Monday, December 14, 2009

Christmas. Hell Yes.

im in yo fridge stealin yo foodz

It is Christmas. And I am very excited. As I should be. Christmas is just about the happiest time of the year. Mainly because people get presents. And give presents. Although I am sure that among the adult world if you took away the element of presents Christmas would be just about as awesome. Not for kids though. No presents would suck for anyone from the ages of 3-12. Once you hit thirteen, you begin to loose interest in "toys". At least I did. And thirteen was the age I stopped liking video games, but that is uncommon for males of my age. From 13-20, people (males, because that is my experience) ask for money, video games, and other video game paraphernalia. Me, I ask for clothes, books and movies. I also ask for cool vintage stuff. But thats about it. I am unusual for people of my age, especially because I ask for clothes. And books. I find reading is not the cool thing to do nowadays. I guess I'm not that cool. But I really think that Christmas is as happy as it is because it originated with presents that we got as young children. Oh, and Santa. How could I forget. The biggest lie ever told. Next to God. Parents fill their kids heads with this magic fantastical man in a red suit that goes to house to house in one night. Wow. What is amazing is that I believed it. All the way until fourth grade. I believed in Santa longer than I believed in God. Thats just how good my parents are. Unlike God, I really wish it was true. Think how cool that would be. A guy who makes brand name products in his own factory. I would get products that still had Wal-Mart stickers on them and I would be like WTF?, but no fear, my parents would just say "Santa stopped at Wal-Mark because the factory had a problem". Without even questioning how my parents knew this I was just like O.K. Uhhhh. I think I knew for a long time he didn't exist but was just afraid to admit it to myself. The history of it all is very interesting. Check out this link about the jolly old man. On a side note, I was in Stew Leonard's (a grocery store) and they had a Santa handing out candy canes. He came up to me, a fully grown teenager and hand me a candy cane in possibly the creepiest way imaginable. "Merry Christmas you little munchkin boy". He didn't say that. But he might have. I wonder what would happen if I was just like "I'm Jewish". He would probably say "You don't have to be Christian to believe in Santa". Then I would kick him in the balls and find a grown up. I am not religious but neither is Christmas so I still feel obligated to celebrate. As many of my friends know, I don't believe in God, so naturally I don't think Jesus is anyone more than a guy who did good in a desert 3000 years ago and came to a violent end. None the less, even if I thought he was the Messiah, Christmas really has no relation to Jesus, other than the name and the fact that people say it does. Literally every-other part of Christmas is borrowed from other "pagan" religions. Actually, once I start living alone, I plan on celebrating Christmas every other year, then I could have a "Jew" Christmas and go get Chinese food and see movies with no one in the theater, and then when Christmas rolls around next year, I would be EXTRA excited, because it only come once every two years. Or maybe I won't do that. Whatever.

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